‘Oh no, we can’t have this’: Managers knew they couldn’t fire her for being trans, but they found a way - The Boston Globe (2024)

But it has also worked against me. Once, I was interviewed by a woman who said, “I think you would be a distraction to the office environment because of the way you look.”

If my supervisors didn’t know I was trans, everything was smooth sailing. But I was open about being trans with co-workers, and once it got to the higher-ups, they felt uncomfortable. At most of my jobs, I was a receptionist, I was the face of the company, and they were just like, “Oh no, we can’t have this.”

I worked at a home-stereo installation company, and when my supervisor found out I was trans, his whole demeanor changed. I saw it coming. He pulled me into his office and told me they had to let me go. I forget the reason he gave, but it wasn’t legit.

Managers knew they couldn’t fire me for being trans, but they always found a way around it. They would start building up a case against me: “You made a mistake. You’re asking for help too much. You’re late.” I would just start getting flack for every little thing. And I kind of would see the process starting, and realize, here it goes, I’m on my way out.

One man hired me but then let me go because I wouldn’t sleep with him. In retail jobs I had at Nordstrom Rack, Ulta Beauty, and Victoria’s Secret, I’d get propositioned by customers. Suburban men, you’d be surprised.

I usually didn’t last for more than a few months or a year at each job. The longest I ever worked at a company was about two years. So it was difficult to move up or progress.

I got into sex work to survive. There’s a huge niche for trans women, especially trans women of color, and I knew that. I wasn’t walking the streets or anything. I was a little higher end. I had clients that would fly in or would fly me out. It was survival. I needed a roof over my head.

I actually worked for executives who would end up being clients. I was working at a financial advisory firm, and one of the VPs pulled me into his office and said, “I’ve gotten some complaints about you because your skirts are too short.” Then he said, “But don’t make them too long.” Right then and there, I knew he’s going to let me go, but he’s going to pay me. And he became a client.

That executive referred me to a friend in the insurance industry. And I did go work for his company. Then one of his business partners found out I was trans and started propositioning me, and he also became a client.

I played the game because I needed to survive. But I walked away from sex work 15 years ago after I got busted. I later found out I was HIV positive, but with medication it became untransmittable and I’ve been able to live a healthy life.

When I started working at organizations supporting the LGBTQ+ community, I thought the discrimination I had faced on the job would be over. I am very outspoken about advocating for people of color and I finally felt like I had a platform to do that. But when I started publicly championing them and questioning why they weren’t being properly represented and supported, I got pushback.

Many LGBTQ+ organizations were started for and led by gay white men, and there’s a lot of discrimination out there, especially toward trans women of color. Think of the angry Black woman stereotype, but in this case, it’s the angry Black trans woman. If you’re just speaking and you’re being direct, you’re going to be perceived as being hostile.

In all of our meetings, I would be the only one asking, “What are you guys doing for the BIPOC community? How does this affect them?” There are still lives that are being lost. We need to create more access for jobs and health care and housing. But often you just get lip service. Women of color might be given awards and recognition, but they often just become tokens.

The microaggressions that I encountered, it was ridiculous. I was usually the only person of color in the room, and someone once asked one of my team members: “Can you teach Dreya how to talk to us?” This isn’t about communication; this is clearly a race issue.

I was let go at one organization by a white trans male supervisor who seemed threatened by me. At another, a white trans woman who still had the mindset of the white corporate male executive, she had long been was very condescending to me. She knows the barriers trans women face but didn’t necessarily act like my ally. Aren’t we supposed to have each other’s backs?

I started the Urban Trans Women Center to advocate for trans women of color and share my story because I didn’t want anyone else to go through what I have. I’m planning to relaunch a modeling agency I once ran for men and women of color, including trans models, in connection with a fashion-show production and media company. I’m also hoping to write a book and start a podcast, both called “Beautifully Complicated,” to make more space for trans women of color and other marginalized communities. I want people to know they can get through it. I’m making it through. There’s still hope.

I have no regrets. I accept the mission that I was put here for: to educate and build a pathway for marginalized communities affected by ignorance. My life was not and is not a mistake.

Dreya Catozzi can be reached at dreya814@gmail.com.

To tell your story, contact reporter Katie Johnston at katie.johnston@globe.com. Explore the full Inequality at Work series.

Katie Johnston can be reached at katie.johnston@globe.com. Follow her @ktkjohnston.