The Button Test: How A Button Press Helps Trans People Find Themselves (2024)

“I’m not sure if I’m actually transgender. I want to be (a girl/a boy/nonbinary) but I don’t know if I want to actually transition. I am struggling with my identity and have no idea how to tell what I should do.” There are almost certainly hundreds of thousands of people in the United States and worldwide sitting with those thoughts right now. What if I told you that the transgender community has developed internal ways to unpack gender identity and help people determine if they are transgender? Let me introduce you to a piece of transgender history that has been going around the internet for years: “the button test.”

The button test starts off simple and is often administered to a trans questioning person early in their gender explorations. In support groups I have been a part of, the button test questions typically lead to gender therapists who can help trans questioning people explore their gender identity in a therapeutic setting and determine of identification as transgender and subsequent transition is right for them. The hypothetical scenario presented to the transgender person is as follows (for the sake of simplicity, I will use a transfeminine person, but the gender can be changed depending on the person asking the question):

1. One day, you are given a button to press. With that button comes a set of rules and instructions. You can press this button only one single time. If you press it, you will become physically female. All of your family and friends will have always remembered you this way and you will have no social impacts to your life for making this decision. Once you press the button, it will disappear forever. Do you press the button?

Typically, binary trans people will scream yes at this question. Often the button will preoccupy their thoughts for days afterwards - trans people pre-transition seem to be drawn to the button test because it represents an ideal transition… one in which every part of the transition goes perfectly, where we suffer no social consequences for transition, where transition is an easy and instantaneous process, and where our final identities will be accepted everywhere. For people who are likely transgender, this is a great starting point in personal gender self exploration.

Cis people sometimes will press the button without the time limit or if they had the ability to shift back. It is the time limit and permanency of the button along with its other reality-shifting effects that will often stop cisgender people from pressing the button.

The button test though does not have to end there. Gender identity is not binary, and the process of gender self-exploration does not have to end with a single button press. Often, trans questioning people have further exploration to do. There are many adjustments that can be made to the button test that will help reveal further internal thoughts and feelings. The first question can be shifted to whatever ideal gender presentation the person in question wants - the time limit/one time use limit could also be removed for genderfluid people. Sometimes a second question is added to the button test:

2. A second button is presented alongside the first button. Instead of changing your physical form, it would change your mind so that you no longer wish to be female. You will forget about the button and it will disappear forever. Do you press the button?

This question is more nuanced and tends to reveal something deeper about the trans questioning person. The reaction to this question tends to go one of two ways. One group of people (which tends to be the majority) do not push the second button. That is because a lot of transgender people view their internal gender identities as integral to who they are, and pressing that button would represent a fate similar to death. Often this second question is clarifying and helps transgender people come to terms with this part of themselves. A second, smaller, group of people though does press the second button. These people tend to have heavy internalized shame and depression/anxiety around their transitions. This can be something further discussed with a gender therapist and regardless of the answer, this question is often revealing.

Both of these questions work because of their instantaneous nature and perfect transitions. Often times, trans questioning people will realize that the reason they are nervous about transition is not because “they aren’t trans enough,” but rather because they desire a perfect transition and are troubled by social expectations around gender identity and transition. This can be an enormously illuminating moment for transgender questioning people. A third and fourth question is often then asked:

3. You are stranded on a desert island. This island has everything you need on it to live in relative comfort - a home, entertainment, food. Several suitcases wash ashore with all kinds of different clothes, makeup, etc. How do you present yourself knowing nobody will ever be around to see you ever again?

4. A lifetime supply of hormones washes on shore with full instructions on how to use them. You can be certain that you can safely administer them in the same way that you would be able to if you were under medical supervision. Do you take the hormones?

These questions are an interesting iteration of the button test because they remove the time element and the one time use element of the button. Instead, these focus on social blocks to transitioning. Often, transgender people would love to present themselves as their gender identity, but it is social interactions and sanctions that stop them from doing so. This island question is used to help reveal to a trans questioning person how to separate the desire to transition from the social forces that exist around that desire. Disentangling the two can be enormously helpful. Many transgender people would have answered these questions in the affirmative just before they transitioned. I remember being told when I first faced these questions years ago, “being scared does not make you not trans, it makes you normal.” Transitioning is a scary prospect and the idea of losing people we love over our transition and facing abuse and ridicule is frightening. The desert island test becomes appealing because it allows transgender people to avoid all of that.

Of course, there’s no “test” to being transgender. Transgender people can occupy all sorts of spaces and take many different paths to get to the same destination in their gender journeys. To newly questioning transgender people though, the idea of a test seems so very appealing. It is because of this appeal that a final two questions are often added to the test:

5. Suppose I told you this test was perfect at telling you who was trans and who was not, and it said to me that you are 100% transgender. How would that make you feel?

6. What if I told you the test said you are NOT transgender, how would that make you feel?

These two questions get to the heart of why the transgender person in question is answering these questions. Often, trans questioning people do have in the back of their mind that they want to transition and want a certain answer as the final result of these questions. Very commonly, transgender people would answer to number 5 that they would be relieved and could even, perhaps, finally transition knowing that they have a certain answer. Equally commonly, transgender people pre-transition will answer to the final question that they would be immensely disappointed. That in and of itself can be revealing to trans questioning people who realize at that moment that they do desire transition.

These questions have worked their way through the trans community for years. I found references to them in a reddit comment in 2014, almost 9 years ago, and the comment references them as common knowledge. I don’t have any firm answers on where these questions come from and who originally formulated them. I do know though that they have been used in thousands of transitions when gender questioning people find someone who can ask them these questions and help them disentangle their own thoughts on their gender identity. Typically, after the button test and other questions are asked of a pre-transition trans person, they will explore their genders further with a gender therapist.

These questions were so helpful early in my transition. I knew I was trans from a very early age, but the prospect of transitioning was frightening. I carried these thoughts with me my entire life. I “desisted” from being trans in the early 2000s at 17 years old after being denied any hope at transitioning as a teenager. It wasn’t until I turned 29 that I found myself struggling with my identity once again, and I found a place where I was asked these questions. Immediately afterwards, I knew with certainty what I had to do. I booked myself a therapist specializing in transgender issues on Psychology Today, and within weeks, I started hormone therapy. Several years later, this was the best decision of my life. I hope that passing these questions along will help others like me.